paean to me kroks

These shoes may:

• inhibit friendship formation with people who are put off by their ugliness
• combine a horrible nursey nerdness with frumpy flat-footed anti-fashion
• squelch terribly when wet
• occasionally let in little rocks through their holes
• match the beige of my compression stockings a little closely, increasing the asexual frump
• curtail how stylish the rest of me can ever look, because Crocs + anything stylish looks farcical
• increase one's similarity to a duck
  

BUT they also:

• weigh 8 oz.
• cost around $33
• I can hand the old ones over to the clerk for recycling when I buy new ones
  
• AND (best of all) when traveling I can wear Crocs as slippers, walking shoes and pool shoes. Just rinse and go.

Two thumbs up!