The real problem with vertical blinds? Other than their ugliness, difficulty being cleaned and constant breakery? The annoying rattle, the inability to hang properly, the schmutz? The full-on dentist office mojo, the bleak beige tyranny, the pulls that don't work, the rogue slat that always pops off when you open or close them?

They GIVE YOUR PETS TOO MUCH POWER. One curious yerk? of your cat's or dog's head at ground level and you wake up, your room floods with light. Oh the agony.