I am stricken this morning by the kind of tiredness that passes for aphasia and also makes me giggle. I walked out of my building, hailed a cab, got in, and gave him my home address. Hah! Then on the way to work I was fairly sure I saw a license plate frame that said I'D RATHER BE FUCKING.

This blog--dear reader, did ye know this? did ye know I do this?--is not for the super-personal, the intime, the hopelessly divulgent and ranting and thoroughly unflattering as befits--for me--my super-well, semi-private journal--but I feel the urge to say this--because it may help others: Gravity Will Have Its Way. Oh yes...it will. I am starting to feel nostalgic for the days when (so it feels now) I floated through life like a Botero sculpture. Sic transit. Not that I'm in too bad a shape, but damn. Time like an ever-rolling stream mumblemumble boobs mumblemumble.

So, smoothies. SMOOTHIES!

I am all about the smoothies this week as the number of things I want to be ingesting for various health issues increases unwieldily. It feels a little Californian and woowoo to be standing in my yuppie kitchen making Food out of Fudstuff--it's so uncool from a whole foods POV--but as somebody who has a hard time eating often enough (people don't believe this of fat girls, but it's my biggest problem sometimes), adores anything that halfway resembles sorbet, and has major textural issues, it rocks. It also is deeply connected to a childhood love of Playing Potions, which meant mixing things together in ____'s basement and seeing what we got.

As I perfect my mixture I will probably be writing more about it. There are several things to note now, however:

• More often than I'm willing to admit I feel like Shirley MacLaine in Postcards from the Edge while I'm whirring stuff up. I always really liked the way she adds the vodka at the end, it's a very good moment, the way she does it.

• I am hitting the very expected crucial taste/nutrition balancing ratio problem. Gotta keep that nassy edge out. We'll see.

• My acupuncturist (I've seen her twice, but) recommended this groovy woowoo food-based nutritional green stuff that I'm trying. I got it in the mail yesterday and it is just...nuclear. I dunno how to describe it. It's this incredibly intense powder that has the texture/qualities of POLLEN, in fact the first thing it made me think of was a Wolfgang Laib piece. It's smeary, it stains, it's not anything you can blow away. Has this pernicious, anthrax-like ability to immediately contaminate all nearby surfaces. You can tell this, because it's green. And everything starts to get a muddy green. Anyhow, I am seriously considering drinking it in Mountain Dew to cut down on flavor/color issue. We'll see.