Here are all eleven of the violence guides I have so far! For your--partial--viewing pleasure. Violence guides (see previous posts here and here) are chronologically arranged summaries of potentially nervous-making violence in movies or TV shows, so that you know what to expect and how to watch/watch around them/watch through your sweater, knowing when it's safe to watch again. When it's all less gross, violent, gloppy, gory, whatever.
These guides were written by my friend Will. (That is--I can take credit for nothing but the phobia and the page-coding.) You will notice his efforts to pacify nervousness in the way things are worded, and in his kindly but addicted use of the smiley face emoticon. I edited some of those out but after a while, figured...ah. What the heck.
Some of the guides, when you click on them, are color-coded (black = not scary; green = kinda; yellow = gah; red = OMG). Some are not. Some in addition/instead contain a 0 - 3 ranking scale (0 = not scary; 1 = kinda; 2 = gah; 3 = OMG). Some do not!
A sample time stamp might look like this (from No Country for Old Men) :
00:18:20 - A man gets shot at a few times and at 00:19:10 he gets shot in the shoulder, but he's only slightly wounded.So you can see that every guide contains by definition some (usually very vague) SPOILERS. You've been warned. In every case the guides were written to MINIMIZE SPOILERS, but--but. It happens. The whole point of the violence guide is to help you get through the movie you couldn't watch without it--information will be spilled. There will be blood, yo...there will be blood.
Thanks, Will!
- Fight Club! is what those boys do!
- Inside Man! is inside! or is he!
- Jackie Brown! from downtown!
- Lord of the Rings! not one, not two, all three!
- The Matrix! has lots of glop!
- No Country for Old Men! get out, old men!
- The Prestige! is an abstract noun!
- There Will Be Blood! no way! Gross!
- The Ring! is scary ringy!
- The Wire! is fantastic TV but damn dire!
- V Is for Vendetta! and for violence guides!
Note: These violence guides do not constitute a thumb-up of the movie in question.
5 comments:
Many thanks to Will for the guides, and to you for editing them and making them available! I think these guides are a great idea. You allowed me to watch No Country for Old Men with my mom without freaking her out too much (I fast-forwarded through the gorier parts). Feel free to disregard my unsolicited advice, but in case you or Will decide to keep making guides, one thing that would help viewers like my mom would be to have time-stamps for all scenes of attempted (or successful) violence against cats, dogs, or other animals.
So glad you found them helpful!
I have passed the comment along :)
Thank you very much for these guides. I'm going to watch V for Vendetta soon, and I was apprehensive about it since I've heard that it's very violent. Because I have a strong aversion to blood, I was conflicted on whether I really wanted to see it; however, the plot seemed very interesting. Now I know what parts I won't be able to watch, and I can enjoy the movie without having to look away at the first signs of fighting! You've saved me, and I appreciate it immensely.
You are welcome, anon!!
OMG, thank you! After watching 6 episodes of Orphan Black, I was combing the Internet for such a thing as this. PTSD, or whatever, I can't watch torture. I like good tv though. I had to quit Battlestar Galactica halfway through because of it, and I didn't get far in The Wire either. I will use the guide for the Wire. Any chance Will wants to watch Orphan Black? Or Breaking Bad? And not to ask for more on top of an awesome gift like this, but the end timestamp of the scene and information about any exposition that takes place during the scene would be so great. I'm bookmarking these and hoping they keep coming! Thank you!!!!! And Will!!!!
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