it's too hot

Here's what I want.

In a clearing in an easy, un-scary forest, at night: a deep, wide hole is carved in the packed dark earth, done carefully and slowly so no trees' roots are jarred and none of the dense earth shifts too much. Some kind of nice clean insulation and squishy packing is added, and on top of that is installed a temperature-maintaining and completely moisture-impermeable liner, extremely thick, with handy ridges for sitting and climbing built into it. I'm picturing this hole about 8 feet across and about 12 feet deep.

The construction of this hole--a very large cup buried in the earth, basically--is as solid as it can be, with a wide plinth and paving around it that prevents any dirt from entering. There are kerosene lamps all around casting a nice glow; not creepily flickering against the trees, just nice.

Then a very clean tanker from the Schweppes factory arrives, full of sparkly carbonated water and gallons of it are siphoned into the earth-cup, until it's about 2/3 full. The delivery person hands me a can of ginger ale and a straw and leaves. Another truck comes with some very large ice cubes, maybe a foot square, and 5 or 6 of them are dropped in. That delivery person leaves.

I throw every single thing I'm wearing on the wide sturdy bench nearby and drop naked into the cup with a deep splash, which creates a big disturbance in the water, but doesn't overflow much. I bob out to reach my ginger ale, open it, put the straw in it. A giant hand reaches in and with its finger sets all the contents of the earth-cup aspin--me and cubes and sparkly water. I don't know how I'll get out, but that's where I want to be.