Saturday, December 19, 2009

One strange phenomenon of getting older: not bothering to get embarrassed. Something genuinely embarrassing or humiliating happens--you react--move to react--but then catch yourself up short. Or lose steam.

Should I bother feeling bad about this? Being embarrassed? Do I want to? Nah, don't think so. Not really in the mood.

You choose to not be embarrassed. It's not a reactive decision, nor the empowering casting off of social strictures--nor is it the Fuck You that needs to be lobbed at shame sometimes to put in its place. It's just choice. Do I really want to get embarrassed about this, this thing that should embarrass me, by all rights? Eh. Neh. I could, but...not in the mood.

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