Monday, July 06, 2009


* I am about to send my computer to the hospital. The sleek, well-designed, user-friendly Mac hospital, for what I really hope will be a brief stay. Last week I schlepped--the only possible word here--schlepped my computer, all bungee cord-ed into a suitcase that was too small for it, to the Genius Bar through the absolute throngs of people waving cash at scrubbed young employees (what recession?) at the Mac Store on Michigan Avenue. Ungh, I fucking hate saying that phrase. Genius. What the hell. Not cute. Don't enjoy the casual, commodified use of that word. Anyhow, this week I do the same thing all over again once a part comes in. Wish it luck. Wish me luck! Thank gawd for AppleCare. [Query: LaundryCare? PsychCare? CatCare? Could I buy these too?]

* I have finished 99 of the 100 puzzles in my KENKEN book (what do I getget?) and the last one--the most difficult one--#70, for some reason--is freakin killin me! The page is worn through from erasing. Will be thrilled to celebrate being done with all 100.

* There are many kinds of farts in this world, and there is not enough time or space to discuss them all here at the moment. But I will say this: the What the Hell type of Traveling Fart--that fart that you let rip while walking in a busy area in the spirit of "Okay, what the hell, this is going to be loud, so loud that...what the hell...maybe it will just be so loud it's impossible to really hear, it will cycle back around the sound spectrum, or just become random noise in this throng of activity, I will just do it, close my eyes and do it, let it rip, I'm going to do it, what the hell"--people do actually hear it. I went to the movie theaters last week and while sitting in the lobby and trying to decide which one to see I got to experience at least two of these farts from other people. People do hear them--maybe just the people who aren't moving around as much, but we do. Been on both sides of this fence here, by the way, just thought this fact would be good to note.

* The other day I became consumed with a desire to know what had happened to R*chard Marx's hair. I was thinking about Jewfros and how despite its original connotations that word describes a kind of hair that really is rather prized these days and how RM's hair was really more of a Jewfro to my mind (or half-Jewfro in his case, I don't know) in its unwieldy wiry bush tamed into the ultimate balladeer mullet, anyhow, I had to know. I knew his mullet had lost its back hang, but I just wanted to see what it was doing. And now I know. This is what Mr. Marx's hair is doing in the 21st century.

* Martha Stewart's personal, intimate blog is getting more and more hilariously impersonal. It is basically a chronicle of the efforts of her staff in maintaining her residences while she is who knows where. Photos from her gardeners, photos from her housekeepers... The subtext is sort of: I am not here. I continue to find the interaction of all the kinds of divulgence in MStew's life and how she variously leverages/sells them quite fascinating. Her own life in some ways continues to be hidden at the center despite all the varying layers of transparency.

* More weird-ass Yahoo headlines: "Serena Williams beats sisters Venus at Wimbledon." Sisters? Sister's? Strange implications in that one, not to mention the specter of my grammar bete noire, the noun adjunct. That was a weird one.

* Worst name ever: the impossibly snurgy "IF YOU CARE" line of household products (recycled aluminum foil, etc.). What the @$)(*^&@. It sounds like a joke from Spy magazine, which, by the way, most everything seems to me these days: both a joke and strangely redolent of Spy, I mean, down to the new Food & Dining issue of The Onion, which made me laugh almost as much as their recent "Employment" issue or else it was just really late and I was tired. What are those Spy guys doing now?

* What am I going to have to do to see the new Wallace & Gromit film? I kind of like that Aard. is not catering to American audiences in making it super-available, but I don't want to buy a download, I don't want to buy the DVD...I want to just watch it.

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