There are many reasons to crank at the flow of tourismus around my River North pad, but there's no one silhouette--fashion decision--look--that makes me feel like a pissy old smokin Bette Davis (the one on Phil Donahue) faster than the sight of flip-flops. Why? Why? Why do people wear these?

I know teenage girls don't exist to make decisions with cautious care but they--the girls--look so flimsy in them. They themselves. How can you run? Protect yourself? Be ready for rain or sun? Not be vulnerable to piss and broken glass and dog poop and suddenly falling arches? Many many of the liltouristyteenagerladies in my neighborhood wear shorts, a tank top and flipflops--that's it. They look as if they couldn't (for instance) have room to carry a camera or a notepad. Walk for miles along the lake. Do anything other than look at stuff and be looked at. I know that they find ways to do things anyhow, and I don't think they have to dress to be sensible, but the general feel when you squint at all this, is that they are ever on vacation from life. They just look vulnerable. And as if they are hoping money will protect them.

Flipflops in extremis (Kate H*dson in NY recently)--also a no go, if you ask me.