When I finally broke down and got this Mac last summer, it took me a little while to figure out...I had a camera. You know, the little cameras at the tops of all the new Macs--they all have built-in iSight. I immediately, as required by law, took hundreds of photos of myself. And my ass (humans do that, you know--any new form of technlogy/recording devices: photos of your ass). Mostly my face, because the camera sucks, really, and can only handle the things right in front of it. Anyhow, hundreds of photos that seemed oh so different in the taking but lined up are just a blizzard of my tired pale face in a marching array of goofball expressions.
The thing is: it was kinda fun, a little weirdly addictive. I tend to run out of the house with my hair wet and without looking in a mirror, so it was kind of a way to check in with myself when I was online. See how things were going, if the earrings matched. Take my 900,000th photo of the chin fat/fat face and see what it was, how things were lining up. See how a dress fit. Also...I found it a good fat girl tool. To stay connected to what I actually look like in all its glory (I don't have any other cameras right now). Also just goofy bored mild narcissism. Also a way to--for instance--show a friend how a new necklace she had sent me looked. That kinda stuff. Fun lil things.
The reason I know I was finding it a little weirdly addictive is that it suddenly seems to be broken! In all the problems/updating/restarting/drive-cleaning I've done since my MySpace debacle...now I get nothing when I turn on my iSight. Just a weird eerie glow in the corner. And I'm at a loss! I was so used to seeing...me, when I wanted to.
No mas. How the hell am I going to know if my lipstick is--well, was--on right? Or..whatever. Maybe this will be a good thing; maybe I'll get more productive. Spend less time taking 20 different photos of a tryout hairdo and more time doing work. I dunno. It's funny how used you can get to the computer screen watching you back, after years of just...watching.