Friday, May 28, 2010

These posters on bus stops are still making me chortle hard. The cheese! The cheese.

The hair is intense and a unique (to me) aesthetic combination of: decent actor with enough boxoffiss drag to make inevitable, embarrassing big budget career choice--with cut abs; romance novel; video game; generalized period piece with strappy leathery stuff; as well as very Young Adult novel, in regards to the feathery side bits all adrift in the wind.

His accent (equally hilarious) seems to be basically that of English Actor Cast in Period Film, whose tones lends a certain veracity (to Americans) to the general Periodyness of it all. Woo! Persia!
It occurs to me that being an otter phlebotomist would be a rather onerous occupation, although you would probably have the skills as a result to do absolutely anything. (Why always with the cheese music scoring otter videos? If I had a sense the otters gave a shit, I would imagine them coming back in another life to wreak vengeance on those who soundtrack their lives with such cutesie-pie crap.)

Friday, May 21, 2010

so immature

It turns out that the sexiest album I own may be Dr. Andrew Weil's Breathing: The Master Key to Self-Healing. The deep rumbling masculine voice with its overlay of Jersey/PA ("find" is "foind"), the "ins" and "outs," the fluttering diaphragms, the whooshy background breathing that reminds me a little of a Teena Marie song, the "stimulating breath" that "increases warmth," tongues all over your mouth, the universe playfully breathing air into's an intense aural experience. Makes a girl giggle and toss her curls.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Ottoman out!

Is there anything more luxurious than the modern practice of building up then satisfying that over-excited urge for the Next Episode of something? We're lucky--we're really lucky. Not just that we get to take in big gulps of well-written long episodic stories as much as/as fast as we want, no waiting til next week, no commercials, no agonized anticipation, but that there's just so much of it. The world really wants us to be entertained. Distracted. Drooling in front of a rectangle. Whatever. Hours and hours of stuff.

(I think it's a luxury--sometimes I wonder. Sometimes that excruciating can't-wait-til-next-week feeling is a good thing. You can get kind of numb or sick to your stomach from too much episodic stuff sometimes.)

I've been really enjoyin Arrested Development, which I mainlined through Netflix streaming. It's great, it's fun, there are things that make me bark out loud with laughter. I do think the female casting is weak, in a way I associate in my head with the talent level of the Imagine people involved: funny, risk-taking, interesting, but also kind of Hollywood. Portia de Rossi is a weak link in that cast, and Charlize Theron was pretty awful; the show bounced back up noticeably high as soon as that plotline was over (it was a decent goofy premise--at least the Americans thinking everything Brits say is intelligent bit--and I don't think she pulled it off). And I wish they would have let the show have more of an arc with set design--letting the show home disintegrate around Bluths, or be customized as the series went on, rather than just little nods to it, like the fake turkey that would show up over and over. That seemed less like surreality and more like a missed opportunity. But still, totally fun.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

JACK: You do not want to miss this wedding. It's going to be New York royalty: the Astors, the Rockefellers. The Sbarros.

AVERY: Yes, I know, Jack--you think I don't want to know what Pizzerina Sbarro is going to be wearing?

JACK: Then come.

AVERY: We both know that is a bad idea, which is why I scheduled a conflict I can't get out of.

JACK: What is it?

AVERY: Well, if you must know, I'm on Dodecacil. The pill where you only get your period once a year.

JACK: We're so close to beating that thing completely.

And then...

Why do semi-failed culinary efforts always create so many dirty dishes?

I was trying to make these spring rolls [left]. Pretty! I even splurged on some Pantone-bright veg to make it happen.

But then couldn't find any rice papers. So I purchased some nice thin pita in hopes I could make some kind of facsimile wrap-up something or other.

But then it became clear that wouldn't happen (wrap torque, tightness), and it devolved into a kind of fatoosh.

But when I look at the photo of what I was eventually able to pull together, what is really looks like is a lunch special at Bennigan's. Or one of those slaw-based rachealray recipes. In intent, I mean, not execution.

But who cares, it tasted great, even if every bowl I own is dirty somehow and I entirely failed to achieve the julienned vegetable parallelism that looked so appealing in the first photo. A good gingery marinade for the shredded chicken I added and a nice herbed mayo on top. Not spring rolls at all.

Monday, May 10, 2010

Success: These blondies made with Ghirardelli bittersweet chips and pine nuts. Too much chocolate messed with the nice texture (there is a lesson there), but still. Yum! Recipes that call for melted butter ultimately more manageable for those lacking proper mixers than those needing butter ge-fluffing attention.

Saturday, May 08, 2010


Thanks to my pal Dorothy (Hi Dorothy! Dorothy doesn't Computer, but regardless--thanks!) who alerted me to the peregrine falcons nesting on top of 1130 South Michigan Ave. You can watch them here on cam--I just checked it to see how they survived the little 4:00 deluge and they are doing fine.

I am really charmed by the idea of these not particularly huge birds interfering with skyscraper window-washing because of their 200 mph plunges and fierce territoriality about their wobbly little chicks, who will soon emerge. They are really beautiful birds.

Thursday, May 06, 2010

poor men

I'm about to sound like an earnest sex-nerd discussing life late in the student union, but whatevs: Poor men! I mean, really. Not not poor women (too), just poor men. is sometimes hilarious, and sometimes the boners in question are awfully awkward, but mostly the photos seem to just be evidence that men have penises (and that Jude Law doesn't always wear underwear). I don't totally see how that's cause for such twittery. Or at least this particular type of twittery.

Not only that, many of the photos show men sleeping or playing sports and they look as a result especially vulnerable. I guess any sign of vascular movement in that area is shameful? I mean...the dudes are dead to the world napping. What do you want? It's like people's squeamishness about THO, as if it's an unnatural travesty and needs to be cured, like bedwetting. I'm not sure that these are awkward boners so much as we just find boners awkward, period.

This one baffles, though! Yoiks. What the hell. Hilarious.

There's more to talk about (Frat-Bro Homoeroticism! Prurience! Beauty Ideals!), but I need to go take some Adderall and study for finals.

Sunday, May 02, 2010

Very Servicable Salad

- Grate a bunch of carrots
- Thinly slice a head of celery
- Cook one package Lundberg rice in chicken stock with a little salt & butter
- Toast a big handful of sunflower seeds
- Rinse & drain one can of black beans
- Drain one can of nice tuna

Make a dressing (about 1 c.) with:
- Greek yoghurt
- a lil mayonnaise
- juice of two grapefruits
- splosh cider vinegar
- salt & pepper
- pinch of smushed-up dried oregano
- big spoon of dijon mustard
- olive oil

Put 1/2 the cooked rice in a bowl to cool; after a while add about 1/2 the dressing and keep stirring. Add the tuna and stir to break up, sunflower seeds and beans, and more dressing. When it's all coolish, add the veg and the rest of the dressing, stirring to combine. Lob spoonfuls into a bowl as needed to satiate hunger & stay alive! Ages well in the fridge. And you know...has some protein in it. Looks like gruel. SERVICABLE UND SEHR YUMMY.